Monday, August 8, 2011

Pain & Questions

August 5, 2011

They checked labs this morning and some of Drew's electrolytes were a little low. Not a big deal, right? Well normally they would just add the electrolytes to his fluids that are already running, but the magnesium is not compatible with his chemo, so they cannot be run through the same line, which means they had to start a separate IV today. It stinks because the whole reason he has a port is to avoid having to be poked so many times. The hospital has a vascular access team that solely does IV access and they are really good and fast. Drew did really well also. While he still screamed and cried, he sat fairly still without us having to hold him as much and instead of just yelling at everyone, he stopped and asked, "all done?"

These moments are heartbreaking. It is so hard to watch your child scared and in pain. I had a real hard time when we started chemo last month dealing with the fact that here we had what appeared to be a normal, healthy, active 3 year old boy who sure didn't seem sick and now here we sit pumping poison through his veins, making him sick. It just doesn't seem right. And then to feel like you really don't have a choice in the matter either, this is just what has to be done.

The day we arrived, we got checked in and settled in our room and they got the chemo started and then neurology came and hooked up the EEG. When they were done, it was quiet, dark and calm in our room. It was just me and Drew and as I was laying in the bed with him and he was playing on the iPad, he said, "Mom, what the doctors doing to me?" It was the first time he ever really questioned what this was all about. I explained things to him and he listened quietly as he played.


  1. Mommies always explain things the right way...I'm sure you did an awesome job even though it must have taken all the strength you could muster... I'm keeping up the prayers!

  2. So, I know I should write something inspirational and positive in response. . . but what you wrote here is what I've been envisioning in my mind this whole time, and it breaks my heart. I can say this, you're not in this alone. We are all praying and thinking about your family.

  3. Dayna, I'm so sorry....I can't imagine watching one of my girls go through what Drew is. We love you and are thinking about you and praying for sweet, little Drew. We received Kelsey's announcement...she's absolutely beautiful, like the rest of your children!
    Love you,
    Babata and Ken

  4. Tom just told me about the fever. I'm in New Jersey and I'm praying for your little guy. We all love you and your great family.

  5. Dayna, my heart breaks for sweet Drew and your family. I can't emagine what he is going through. I've been following this blog. I count my blessings every time I read it. This post really makes it all sink in, deep. Judd recently had pneumonia and they had to draw blood. He asked me "are we done" (as well), when they took the needle out. I almost lost it and I can't emagine how you must feel when Drew asked you. You are a strong Women and you have incredible support! We are thinking and praying for little Drew, everyday! I wish I could be there to help you but we are in spirit. Keep strong and give him a big hug from us. He's a trooper! Love you guys!

  6. I cannot even imagine what you guys are going through and poor little Drew. Just breaks my heart. I pray for you and your family during this trial.
    -Darcy (Denise former roommate)